How to handle dating a married man

Moreover, the other lady might just be a friend or your predecessor. That might the lady you deposed, so be nice, courteous and grand. Be cool about it! Let it ring between three to four times then cut the call, he will call you back. You might be wrecking his marriage with your stupid actions of love. Work with his mood, try to be understanding. At least for the night.

You need to finesse to carry it out. My husband behaves differently when his parents are around. Is it okay to ask a guy I like to go out on a date with me? My parents insult my wife because she is older than me. My wife never visits my parents' place. We have sent you a verification email.

To verify, just follow the link in the message. Nov 23, , What does dating a married man and devouring hot chocolate fudge have in common? Both taste devilishly good, but both are sinfully bad! Yet, what is it about a married or the so-called 'committed' man that attracts women? Is it the thrill of being the 'other woman'? Or just the promise of love? Dr Kamal Khurana, a marriage and relationship counselor explains, "Women who fall for married men are usually seeking attention and emotional support. Since married men seem to be more experienced and mature, they get attracted towards them. Owing to their experience, married men understand the emotional needs and desires of women better than their single counterparts.

If you have convinced yourself that his family would never come to know about it, think again. If they do, you would have to deal with the guilt of inflicting emotional pain on his spouse and kids, besides hurting yourself. It's important to consider that there are many people involved in your relationship, than just the two of you. Also, dating a man who's married may entail many restrictions such as not being seen in public places together or being with him only when he can find free time away from his family or sneak out and meet you. Even more difficult can be living with the bitter truth that you are sharing him with his wife.

Samvedna Thakur name changed on request , 27, who works in an advertising agency in Delhi claims, "I have been dating a married man for the last two years. We work in the same office. I've tried to break up with him several times but have failed in doing so. I am aware of the consequences if his wife finds out about our relationship.

I also know that I am his second priority, but I am so emotionally attached to him that I'm not even being able to find an eligible man for myself and get married. We have been together for a year. Recently, he confessed to me that he's married and is not happy with his present relationship. He said he doesn't want to cheat on me, but can't divorce his wife either.

I've been trying to forget him since then and call off the relationship, but I am not being able to do so. Arvinder Singh, a psychotherapist and consultant says, "There is usually a lot of guilt associated with such relationships. So, when you are in a relationship with a married man, it's important to analyse the emotional need that the man is being able to satisfy.

Then see if you can get it elsewhere, apart from the married man. It's important to have a support system, otherwise it can be even more damaging for the woman as it could be emotionally taxing. An important question that you need to ask yourself is - 'Why is he in a relationship with you despite having a family? It is important to evaluate and assess the benefits and drawbacks of such a relationship.

You may be hoping that your man will leave his family for you so that you both can live happily ever after Assess whether the man you are dating is pursuing the relationship because he loves you or he just because he wants to take advantage of you. Poonam Tiwari name changed on request , 34, who works with a multi-national company in Noida adds, "I am in love with a married man who has a son. I am married too and have a daughter. Mine was an arranged marriage, but after a year, lot of differences started creeping into our relationship. I met this man though a common friend and realised that he was the one for me.

Being a wife and a mother, it isn't correct on my part to be dating a married man and giving up on my marriage, but I think our ultimate goal in life is to be happy, isn't it? What's the use of being in a relationship that gives you pain and suffering? You must be realistic here and accept that what you are involved in is risky in many ways. One of the things that often destroys women in your situation is the shock of suddenly being dumped because of something that is happening in his marriage, or because of stress that you are causing him at home.

Believe me, when this happens, having that extra money invested will lead you to think, "At least I got something out of it. I know you are probably thinking that you are in a unique and different situation because he truly loves you, and you love him, etc. But that is what they all say, and when stress and reality get involved, people's emotions and decisions tend to be all the same after all. But that is what they all say. For nine years, my friend Darleen dated a man who was married and now regrets it.

Her man told her that he loved her but because he had two children with his wife, he could not leave her. He also said that he no longer slept with his wife, but that they had an understanding. Darleen would tell me that if he could leave his wife for her, he certainly would and that her man often showed great concern for whether or not she was cheating on him. Yes, love is blind. I found myself angry quite often as I told Darleen that if he loved her he would divorce his wife rather than play this game with her.

Poor Darleen had excuses for everything. She got on her high horse by stating that if a man has kids he can't leave. I happen to have known several highly moral men who divorced their wives even though they had two or three kids. After the divorce, they took care of their children at least half of the time. The truth is, a man will change his life around and do anything to win you over if he truly does love you.

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If he is content to have sex with you and makes no move to make a permanent life with you, then you must understand that he does not see you as being very important. Or not important enough. I know that your ego does not want to accept that fact but put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. If you were with a man who you were not having sex with and who you did not love, and you had this man on the side who you truly did love and had a great connection with, would you be content to go home to the man you did not really want, knowing that your lover is single and could easily find someone who is available for him full time?

Men are concerned with having their woman all to themselves. It is actually proof of disinterest on his part if he does not care who you are with and what you are doing. If he sees you as a valuable woman, he will know that other men are after you, and he will want to make sure that he gets you before someone else does. Darleen made excuses for her married lover for years, and she believed him when he told her that he could not stand his wife and never touched her. After listening to her talk about their intimate discussions, I figured out that her lover had caught on to the fact that Darleen seemed to accept him going home to his wife as long as he and his wife were no longer sleeping together.

Things got a little tricky when his wife suddenly became pregnant. Darleen worked in a building across the street from her lover's wife and was able to spy on her every so often. Darleen's guy informed her that his wife had been bugging him for years to have another baby, and he finally gave in.

Not that they were sexual or anything—he explained that in order to touch her, he had to get drunk. The wife had marked the calendar for the day when she was fertile, and they did it just that once in order to have a baby. The lies can be clever and convincing, but I always say, "Assume that the man is lying until you are engaged, married, or something close. If he seems content to let the relationship go on for years as it is, you should see that he is using you for some fun on the side. So, by all means, date other men.

Remember, it's not cheating on your part because he is married. I hear that one a lot. The married guy says, "Don't cheat on me. Otherwise, you will find yourself rejected by your married lover and you will be left alone. Date on the side to keep yourself from becoming too attached to this man and to keep reality in perspective.

When Darleen finally listened to me and began to see other men, her viewpoint changed dramatically. Her married lover began to only see her for sex. They were meeting in hotels and were meeting in his car after work. Darleen was not even getting a meal out of it. Sometimes they would go to a bar and have a few drinks and then go to his car.

When she began putting her photo on dating sites, she felt more powerful because she could see that there were a lot of other guys out there. Some of these guys took her to exciting places, bought her nice gifts, and even offered her spending money. What's the best cure for a man? The answer is another one! When you have a man abusing your emotions, don't feel guilty about seeing what else is out there. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I love this article so very much.

So true that you find yourself rejected and left alone when you put everything in the same basket for a married man. If your married men are real and have been honest with you from the beginning and treated you as top priority compared to his family. Made you laughed, the most happiest person in the world and would discussed whenever you face problems. Would you consider to keep the relationship? Not all married men are brutal liars. Men heart are bigger than women for sure. One is for real love and one for family and status.

There are commitment and divided responsibilities to ensure how the society look at them. Sounds weird but that's the facts. Just make sure they are not sleeping together. This topic should also differentiate true and genuine married men Vs those heartless men who uses their loved ones for own desire and selfish motives.

Some men have also invested heavily when comes to long term emotions and impact when the time comes I liked some of this until the BS about making a man pay for you or support you. How dare you demean women and make them think the only thing they deserve is cash. They are not hookers.


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I met this guy in a foreign country. He asked me out, and I was instantly drawn to him before he even spoke to me. I asked straight up if he was married or had kids. He said he was separated and had two adult children. When he said separated I thought literally separated like they are no longer together but not yet divorced.

I had to go back to my country. We kept in touch. I asked him if I could come visit he said sure. I came to visit and we started our relationship. When I come to visit we are living together which I feel terrible about. The problem is I think he really does love me. We never fight, and get along great and laugh all the time.

To make things even more weird is I had waking visions I was going to meet someone who loved me for about 2. The entire time until I met him. But I feel like if he is still going to be with his wife maybe I should date others too. Once in awhile I feel he is being fake but majority of the time I feel he is being sincere. Also he said he had a 7 year telationship with another woman. He never answers those calls in front of me. I am 26 years old and have been having an affair with my best friends father since i turned I know he won't leave his wife and family, but in the meantime we are having sex every day, talk to each other about what we're doing, what would happen if it got out and of course day to day problems at work.

We have been so careful, even while i was living in the house. It started as a place to live, but i knew he wanted me since i was 13, the way he would look at me, lick his lips, pat my ass, rub his well endowed baggage. They treated me as their own, yet i have crossed the line, lied and yet it has still been one my happiest pleasures. We don't have time to worry, it is our time and yes it started out as lust, sex, at all hours of the day or night, but it has also turned into love.

As hard as it is to take care of his wants and needs, i too have to take care of mine and so I to go out to take care of me, because one day, me is all i'm going to have. He treats me like a queen, we go away all the time, i have been to places all around this beautiful world because i satisfy him whenever, what ever he wants and i know this is his guilt by taking me away. We have made love on beaches, in the mountains, airplanes, elevators, cars, in the house when i was still living there, in my bedroom, his office, even his work office, nude resorts, chalets, and it goes on and on.

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He bought me a 1 carat diamond ring and wedding band and we even came up with a story for people to believe who didn't know us. He pays for a young gentleman to be at my beck and call for functions that include my friends and family, including his daughter, my bff. The past eight years i wouldn't trade at all, but we know it's coming to an end very soon, as i have met someone who is only 4 years older than me, not 18 , and we are starting to plan our wedding. No, he is not aware of my relationship with big daddy. All he knows is that this family took me in when mine didn't have time for me and i am treated like one of the kids.

Big daddy will walk me down the aisle, my bff will be my maid of honor and life will go on the way i hope it will. All I know for now is big daddy was my first sexual partner and it has been a great time and I am still his baby girl. Do you think a married man treats his wife similiar or the same?

What I am referring to is manipulation, control, emotionally detached. I feel honestly that my boyfriend is mentally abusive. I never intended on feelings being involved but they are. He says they do their own thing. Even one of her friends told me the sane thing without even knowing about us. We talk about him leaving her as they are talking about a seperation. We talk about a future. He calls and texts daily comes to my job daily.

Just confused a little. I met this guy almost 4 years ago! He is 18 years older than me, but he was so charming and nice a total gentleman, he ask me out and first thing I asked if he was married, he said he was divorced, so we went along, going out having drinks, nice dinners for couple of months, then I decided to introduce him to my friends and coworkers on one of my birthday dinners, after that everything was great I met his friends and the wives of the friends, we had a great relationship until on of my coworkers one day told me that her husband has seen me with my boyfriend and he mentioned that he was married!!!

I met a charmer on one of my travel job assignments, he was married as I. I was going through a divorce, but he is still married, i have been dealing with him since to now, i have flown to see him and now we work in the same city, he claim he is separtated, and not sleeping in the same bed, also claims they dont have sex. However, i offered him to stay with me, when he arrived in TX, and he did, we had sex everyday, well i overheard every conversation, i put camera's with sound all around the house so that i could hear every conversation, because he had told me to much.

I feel bad listening, however i overheard him talking too her and the things i overheard, was crazy, like fighting, talk back and forth, about why she does not touch him, and why she does not help around the house and take care of the kids, and whay she smokes weed and drink for years. He had cheated on her with several woman for 10 years before he met me, i told him why dont you set her and yourself free, he said ite because of the two kid, want to tell them, but they are to small to understand.

They are allways struggling financial, they dont have sex, she told him onthe phone that he knew she was not sexually active when they got married 16 years ago. So out of all of this he met me, and told me he cant see his life without me in it, and he loves me. Do not say he will not leave his wife and children, i can honestly say he will. I was left with 4 children and he left for my best friend. It was devastating for me and my children, who had known her for 11 yrs.

My fault was letting her be my confident. She knew every thing and used it against me. We still feel the effects of a divorce and there is distance between our children and their father. His girlfriendv is not welcome to any family activites. So every event is hectic tovsay the least. I've never dated a married man but now I find myself in love with one who seems to love me back.

But oh my God did I want to. We were friends for six months before I had a clue he liked me. Then another six months and a few drinks in he spills it. His wife is jealous of me and he's had feelings for me for a long time. I thought we were just good friends who shared drinks, intimate stories, and nothing more. I was fighting some feelings for a few months but I figured crushes are health. Crushes clue you into what you like about people in general and make it easier to identify future good partners.

But over the past few months I've had to practically stop myself from begging for a kiss from him. Before he confessed feelings he confessed his marriage was troubled and she cheated on him three times. I thought "People lie about that sort of thing sometimes" but, no, it was true. He drunkenly confessed that to one of his best guy friends.

I guess you could call it an emotional affair but we've helped each other emotionally, intellectually, and artistically. I feel like I'm a better person for knowing him and I care about him very deeply as a friend I have thought about just asking him what he thinks about leaving his wife then giving us a chance. I know he thinks about me. But I also have reason to believe he will never leave her despite his feelings for me and the fact that she cheated on him three times. One of them with his best friend.

I can't imagine why he would stay with her. That night, I confessed back that I do have feelings for him but I'm not going to date a married man. Ultimately, if he really wanted to change his life he would have already divorced her, taken time to himself, and then swooped me up. Which is why I haven't made a move.

But I couldn't stand to lose his friendship. I dream about what it would be like to have him in my bed. In my mind he's already kissed every inch of my body. SO I must contact him as little as possible. I haven't seen him in about two weeks and I miss him every day. I am for middle East far away from your world but I want share my experience as well I get divorced 2 times with out any baby and after that I could not live in peace our society is very small and closed every body talking about me why she got divorce towice time some thing Is wrong with her.

No family accept their son married with one lady who got divorced 2 times I have mastered degree but I could not find any job and my family dont wanted me more so what I did the most stupid thing I could do. I join to one dating website and find middle East man who is married with 3 kids I told him my life and he ask me go to country he lived there I make story for my family I am going for get my PhD I put my self in deep messy I went we were together after 6 months he told me sorry I must back to the EU he has EU passport he is citizen there and for me with my passport I could not go he take his wife and family and leave me I back to my country with Brocken heart I just wish to die I just wanted to run away and now look at me.

I got one don't marry a married man or a woman don't ruin somebody's home there's plenty of people out there Jezebel!!! I met a guy 3 months ago. For no real reason i hardly ever give out my number but I did this time.

Dating a Married Man - The Truth Exposed

He had already texted me within the hour. We txted two days until i told him it was okay to call. We have talked every single day multiple times for last 3 months. Make a long story short i found out my own way he is married. I wasnt in love or anything but had just taken a strong liking to him.

I said it was over ignored all calls and texts for a day called him next day n have been with him every since. He never has his phone out around me never makes me feel anything other than his woman. I honestly dont expect anymore than what we are.

How to Handle Loving and Dating a Married Man | PairedLife

Talk text spend time go out sometimes. I was married 14 years to wrong man and right now after ths i dont know that i even want a man of my own. I plan to see him long as whatever and then be single again. Smh I never would think i would do this. I'm 28 years of age. I'm dating a married man. Like any other relationship everything was perfect. He makde it very clear that he's a married man. I made peace with that and even adviced him to go see her on weekends since i was staying with him. He always didn't want to go home but i was always pushing him to. As understanding as i was, i was very okay with the set up.

A year down the line I was pregnant. Gave birth and he was there. Problems started when he told his wife about the child. The wife immediately wanted to file for divorce. To myself I'm thinking it's only because she's angry. But now apparently im not told about the latest of the divorce. Yes i was understanding.

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But since i heard about the divorce my mind was like okay. I'll have him as a husband alone. I started having ideas of how we'd be happy or the set up at home. I love the guy. But he does not support me whatsoever. I'm tired of waiting for him. The other thing is, i no longer believe that there's divorce. I gave myself a time line but he's not aware. Sometimes i feel as though he uses me to fix things at home. I was married for almost 2 decades, divorced in my early 40s.

I dated for awhile but most single men my age wanted something I didn't have to give. So after the divorce I did not want another "all in" relationship. Truthfully I never craved marriage like a lot of women anyway, from the outside it looked restricting for women - and it was. But everyone - even the government tells you it's the thing to do to be successful. Anyway after about a year and a half of being single and dating in my early 40s I met my married man. I did not know on our first outing out with friends of friends , I was just having a good time, and he was super nice.

I let him take me home, no thoughts of anything in the future. He is 10 years older than me. I don't have to cook dinner, wash clothes, plan vacations, make dr. I tell him all the time to not even think about leaving his wife because I will never be that for him. At my age I know that a full time relationship would be nothing like we have - we are perpetually dating, and I'm fine with that. He has decades with the wife, and grown kids, and I respect that - she can have the marriage, the kids weddings, the grand kids, the pensions, the family vacations - I don't want it - or the responsibility that comes with it.

It's been 3 years and I absolutely am thrilled about the time we have together still. We go out on great dates, he is so much more responsible than the single men that are my age - he is stable and has his isht together and I love that. It's probably because women are the ones who make men stable? It certainly was the case in my marriage. He does help out with things financially - but I never asked him to, and don't really need it, but it is very nice, and I feel like HE feels a little obligated.

He certainly pays for all of our outings. All in all - it just works for me. I'm not opposed to seeing other men, but I haven't run across anyone who interest me or who were interested in me either I guess. It's not off the table, and I do miss having someone to go on trips with - or to take to weddings or work events. So if I run across a flirtation that feels like it could be something more I'm still up for that, and my married man knows it as well.

At the end of the day I know exactly what my relationship is, as does he, and we enjoy it for that. It depends on how the two of you relate. I don't have a problem with my married boyfriend as long as we continue loving each other. I've been seeing a married man for the past 6 months and I can say after last night I had to find it in my heart to let it all go. It's been good at times. He's helped out some and has kept my mind free from others. But I realized last night that I'm truly in love with this guy and that wasn't my intentions at all. From us hanging out to the long face time talks he has shown me more attention than some of the single men out there.

We met up last night and after I left I cried and told myself that I deserve more than this. Yes this is hard because it's like I was in a full relationship with him and our bond has grew stronger, but I know this can't go anywhere. If you're reading this wondering what you should do I would say get out when you can because it leads to a dead end road. I haven't even told him I was done with it all I just deleted his number last night and blocked him from calling or texting. That was something I had to do for me because I know I'm a good woman and I deserve to be happy. I met Nick 15 months ago.

One of the 3 questions I asked immediately was "Are you married"? I found out August 14, that he had applied for a marriage license April of I found it online and I wasn't looking for that I misplaced his address so i decided to get it off line. I called the clerk of court and "BAM" the joker is married. Jesus take the wheel. Ladies stop playing the fool. I met B after loss of a mutual friend. I knew he was married the day we started texting and he asked to meet me in person, for memory of our Dear Late friend and we had lunch. I was happily divorced at the time when we met, looking for a somewhat meaningful relationship.

He was very charming and I was under the spell the minute I laid eyes on him. I have always had the rule of never being involved with a married man but I guess being unable to find the right type of person and how charming he was with the way he talked to me and convinced me about his soon to be over marriage, relationship quickly progressed into intimacy and like no other before.

He is 10 yrs older than me and at first he was saying about what was going wrong in his marriage and how she is a doctor and works so many hours and he is always alone and that he takes care of their son etc etvc. We literally became friends with benefits So after 3 months into it, I ended it- I asked to meet at a coffee shop and told him that I had met someone and that I did not know what would happen but that I was not going to go into anything having a guy on the side. Being divorced and knowing what men are and can be like, has made dating very complicated.

B kept texting, calling at random times and checking in on me over the course of 6 months. I mostly ignored all calls and texts but some I responded. Then after 7 months- still being single and being in my sexual prime 40 I texted him one morning and said I want you today at this time at this hotel, can you be there? This was exactly 8 weeks ago.

How to Handle Loving and Dating a Married Man

Since then we have been meeting every Thursday after work, and have amazing sex for 3 hrs. Not a word all week well mostly but then rolls in Thursday So last Thursday he was unable to meet me. Then out of no where Tuesday night he texts me at 8: If we change our morals, rules for others- we will end up getting hurt.. I want all my fellow female friends on here to read their own stories as someonelses and see how they have the answer actually. Be the third person in the relationship- end it move on I also know this for a fact that it is better to be alone than be in a toxic relationship No man should be obligated to support you unless you are married, or living together in a long term relationship.

Girls, take care of yourselves - you will be even more attractive to a man at that point. A loving relationship should not based on monetary values, live should be first. You should feel comfortable with this person. Are you going to hold that against him? There are many more ways to determine if a man loves you other than money. Start with what your gut tells you.

If you have doubts, look him in the face and talk it over with him. Money is not what love is all about. The ppl who write these seem to be some cold hearted person. With my relationship it's different. Only he went back to her. I'm not sure y, I didn't ask. He makes big sacrifices for me all of the time. And all men gets jealous so I'm not going to be stupid n do something that'll make him jealous. Advising that to me sounds like someone trying to sabotage other ppls good relationships. I was having problems with this man n my bf went n talked to him about it.

He made sure that I wasn't going to get anymore problems from him. Plus he stayed with me all night instead of going to his wife. I believe that she knows about us but won't tell. I mean even a blind person could see him going out of his way for me. Not to mention the long looks he gives me right in front of her. Then after he stayed with me she did something to make him feel guilty. I won't say what that is. So my relationship is nothing like what ur stories.

He's here every night after work n only leaves if he has to. My wife has been the best blessing that God has ever giving to me and i was scared i would lose her to someone else thats why i contacted you guys for help and you delivered me from my doubts. I went through all her messages on my phone as soon as you hacked into her cell and i found out she has never been cheating on me. She cares about me,our son and now i never have to worry about losing her ever again.

I will never forget the big favor you helped me the. Please I have been reading and going through all the comments I most confess this site has helped me alot reading and learning from other people's experienced. He can never do anything more to u that have uncountable and numerous sex with u. My experience here is short and to the point I knew this man for a short time but my guts didn't trust him I kept on making excuses for him. But I could not take it to the point where he will be with me and kept on calling his wife in my presence these when on for some time.

Like seriously all I needed was fun but it should came with some respect. So I have decided to move on as if nothing ever happened to safe myself from emotional landslide. I'm currently seeing a married man for 2 years now. We both know that we are 'special' friends with benefits. The first time I met him, at work, I got attracted to him and then I saw his wedding ring, for a while I got sad. But he kept being him who is a great man and we got closer and we laughed together. I liked him again and fantasized about him. Then we kissed and kept doing it and after a month I invited him to my place.

I was a virgin then, we did everything except penetration. It was my choice. He comes over times a week and hooked up at work too. One day, he texted me that we needed to lay low because his wife got suspicious. She saw him parked at the corner of the street by their house on his phone. He said it was a call from work. He never called or texted for 3 weeks. I got mad because he can't even text me even if he's at work. We were in different departments then Then he reached out and we talked in person.

I told him that he has 3 priorities. I told him that we will never have a future together my point was, to keep his family. I knew where I stand, I never wanted to be his wife, I would love to but I am not expecting and I want to be a mother in the future and he's already fixed so that would be a problem. I am not a homewrecker. I don't ask for money, he did give me flowers and candies then but I'm not expecting more because his wife might be suspicious with his credit and I don't want to get him in trouble and I still want to keep our relationship. We talk about his kids most of the time and I respect him and his family.

We both know that I will be with someone who I can be with for the rest of my life. Btw, I gave my vcard to him and for now, we are still having fun. Every coin has two of its sides. The same is here. First of all, the question seems objective but it is not. It is rather subjective and has a full length of ifs and buts.

The strongest of the things in the universe that is love sees no boundaries. So, if it is not wrong to fall in love, loving a married man is also no wrong. See, what happened when a woman had a huge crush on his married boss at https: I don't share my man to anyone. So no way in this wide world I would accept him to sleep with another woman.

Luckily, I found that man for 17 years and still going strong Bottom line, I don't share a man with any woman as long as I live. If I die yes, he can sleep with other woman. If he or I cross the line.